Shadow

Well this is supposed to be Shadows page, but think it is going to end up being much more....am so glad i bought the pup, he is all i could wish for and then a bit more, in the evenings he lies on your feet like a black furry footwarmer, and whatever you are doing there is a black furry nose alongside checking it out!! He makes you laugh, even when he gets his 'naughty' head on a takes a chunk out of the paper you are trying to read or pinches a sock out of the laundry basket, only to be found an hour later extremely soggy and with a few extra holes!
You are never alone when he is around and whatever your mood, he is always happy to greet you, his tail wags so hard you think he'd break it.
BUT.....he has shown me all that is wrong in my life, how unhappy i am with the relationship i'm in. How there is no real companionship, my partner certainly isn't happy to see me no matter what mood i'm in, in fact all i think i'm here for in his eyes is to pay half the bills and cook and clean.
I've been unhappy for so long now, but am such a coward about making changes, think i am waiting for some "defining moment" when i know there is absolutely no hope of salvaging this relationship. We have been together for 9 years, and none of then have been really happy. I kind of burnt my boats when i moved in with my partner as i sold my house, left a thriving self employed business and moved into his house. The cracks showed pretty quickly but i was finding it hard to re-establish the business, my kids had had to relocate (which they found really tough) they had new friends again, so to consider moving them again seemed so unfair, and there was no way i could get a mortgage on what i was earning then, all my money was being drained just trying to keep up with my share of the bills (would i have expected Steve to pay half of everything if the situation had been reversed.... an emphatic NO!!)
So i struggled on with a less than perfect life, most of my happiness coming from my relationship with my kids, but of course they grow up.......
Now i have given up on the self employment, i have a decent enough job that so that i could pay a mortgage, kids are mostly grown up or left home...and still i hang on..
Fear of starting again...........fear of failure..........fear of spending the rest of my life alone, don't know if it's any or all of these things and probably a lot more besides!
So i bought a puppy to fill the gap left by my kids..........and it has really brought home to me what a mess my life is, the thought of carrying on like this forever is terrible, but the thought of striking out alone again is also scary!!!
Wish my defining moment would hurry up and happen, but i have a horrible feeling it never will and unless i do something now, i will spend the rest of my days in this sort of half life......
Is there life after 50??????

Missed last week because had familly visiting, was apprehensive about how it would go as Shadow has bouts of 'chewing' us, not seriously biting, but mouthing at our hands or catching the back of our legs as we walk past. It seems to be attention seeking behaviour, not that he's lacking attention, but he does like lots of play. Telling him off seems to mostly make him worse, but shutting him in the utility for 10 minutes usually does the trick! Anyway the visit went really well, he was adorable most of the time and must have made a good impression because my daughters friend has since bought a puppy!
His ears are both up the majority of the time, so he is actually starting to look like a German Shepherd, maybe some of the 'is he a cross' comments will stop now!
Puppy classes are getting harder, he hates doing down stays for any length of time and this week he was chewing the lead/me or anything else within reach while we were doing it, not exactly the sort of behaviour they are trying to teach!
He is a lot of fun as well though, wouldn't be without him now!!

Two ears....

Thank god for puppy classes! Shadow can certainly be a handful at times and just when you think you have solved a problem he finds a new angle on it, a sign of intelligence (i hope!) but you have to keep one step ahead of him all the time.
When he's feeling bored he'll wander around the house chewing at various items watching you out of the corner of his eye to gauge your reaction, he seems to find it immensely amusing to wind you up in this fashion, offering him his own toys to chew instead has no appeal whatsoever. He has also started to jump on the settee when he's alone with my son, daring him to remove him and chewing at his hands if he attempts a forcible removal, not hard enough to leave a mark, but it still hurts because of his sharp baby teeth.
The solution seems to be to reinforce the 'come' command, calling him lots of times and rewarding him with a tidbit when you want absolutely nothing from him, then when he's playing up he will still come when you call him (yes, even from the settee!)and distracting him is a lot easier (and a lot less painful)
Not that he has his 'monster' head on all the time, he is usually really sweet and a lot of the time is just happy wandering around and flopping down with you wherever you happen to be.
Training is going pretty well, heelwork is coming along nicely, he anticipates a bit when told to wait and then come, but what is really great is that he seems to enjoy it as much as i do and wants to learn.
Going to start on the down/stay this week, now that might be fun as he will go down ok, but as soon as you move he pops back up again...

Here is one of Shadows favourite places when we go for a walk...

Well Shadow has been part of the family for 3 weeks now, but crikey doesn't it feel longer. Probably because weekdays I rise at 5.30am to walk him. Not by choice! That's when my partner gets up for work and once woken Shadow needs to go out. Weekends are slightly better, 6.30am, that's my fault though, I seem programmed to wake up early now...
Went to puppy classes again, started doing 'heel work' this week, went much better than I expected, but he did start his usual antics of chewing the lead/my leg. The trainer touched on the problem of dogs who use their teeth too much, suggested putting something that tastes horrible on your hand or anywhere else the pup grabs, haven't tried it yet.
Going to be doing the recall next week so decided to try and get ahead of the class, have been practicing assiduously in the garden (I have always had a competitive streak!)He is doing it really well here including going round to heel to finish, but not sure what will happen when there are loads of distractions, and heel work is a strain as Shadow is still more inclined to chew the lead/me than actually walk nicely to heel!
On the whole i guess his behaviour is improving, shoes don't seem to be in much danger now, but the rug is still under threat and some nights you get an endless stream of toys dumped in your lap!!
Must admit I had forgotten how much work a puppy actually is..
Only other area for concern are his ears, still have one up, one down, he only gets the other one up if we are walking into a strong wind! He had two erect ears when we got him, so hopefully it will come right...

Well..............this has been a real mixed week, Shadow attended his first puppy class. He was quite good really, except i have realised he is not very confident around other dogs, he was the only one in the class who was barking!! Was given a good tip on how to quieten him though, the trainer suggested taking his collar in both hands, gently pulling him around to face me whilst telling him no, and because he was no longer looking at what was making him bark he stopped, had to repeat it quite a few times, but must admit by the end of the evening he was behaving much better. The actual work we did with them was a piece of cake for him as I have already taught, 'down', 'sit' and 'give paw'. Think it might get a bit tougher next week though, because he does pull on the lead when anything exciting is going on, and we are going to be doing some heel work.
He's also playing up more now he has settled in,he is starting to look for mischief and gets really naughty when you tell him off, he makes a grab at your hand and if he catches you with his puppy teeth it can really hurt. Hope he starts to develop a more mature attitude soon!! He is also silly for the first few yards when you take him out on the lead, either grabbing and chewing the lead or your leg!! Guess a lot of this will cease with age/maturity but it certainly makes him a handful at times!!